Final blog

  As I cheered at the Randolph basketball game earlier this evening, the stands started to fill with graduates from the past years, ready to begin their Christmas break.  One thing that I noticed was the oldest alumni graduated only two years ago. Watching them talk to current students at Randolph I wondered how much I would actually come back to school and for how long it would actually last.

      I question if I will feel nostalgic coming back to basketball games thinking about all the times I have cheered on the Raiders. I danced for 12 years at Allegro Academy of Arts. I quit because I wanted to focus on school and my cheerleading. Recently, I took a trip down memory lane to watch some of their competition dances.  As soon as I walked in, tears filled into my eyes. It still smelt like air fresheners, and dance shoes. Though they had a completely different system and the studio was redone, the memories that rushed into my head remained the same. I ponder if I will feel this when I come back to Randolph. I will be excited to see old friends but those memoires might just be a chapter in my life, something to look back on and smile. Leaving Randolph isn’t like quitting dance, it is something that everyone must do.

            As you grow older high school seems less relevant. The alums that were at the game that graduated two years ago were there to cheer on their younger siblings. It is a rare occasion that I see anyone from the class of 2011 or below attending the games or visiting teachers. I think that it is still exciting that many people still keep in contact and make the connection back to Randolph, but I find it interesting that it is not necessary to everyone to have to go back their old high school. I feel like the memories will still be there and that everyone will be able to reminisce.

    Eventually people move on. People will feel the same way leaving college, having to move on to the “real world” and finding a job. While browsing through facebook I saw that old high school students, now adults, still hung out when they both ended up in the same city. This gives me hope that though people will grow distant and the process will keep happening, if you are willing to try, your friends will not be gone forever. I am excited and nervous to see what the future will be like! 

Adjusting to College: the interview

Sitting in my cold room early Saturday afternoon, I tried to get in contact with the one person I could not imagine my life without, my sister. Elizabeth was a lifer at Randolph, but is now a sophomore at Belmont University in Nashville, TN. After her phone failed her many times, she had to result to calling me on her roommate’s phone. Finally, after many technology issues, such as only hearing my self echo, I was able to ask Elizabeth questions many high school seniors are curious about.

The biggest piece of advice I got out of our interview was that you can not be afraid to put your self out of your comfort zone. Many of her stories and answers revolved around friends. I remember Elizabeth telling me that at Randolph she was used to being invited to wherever her friends went. In her high school years she had a close group of friends and was used to not having to worry about what to do on the weekends. When she went to college she had to adjust to not having that luxury. Joining groups like sororities and clubs helped, but Elizabeth mentioned you have to go above and beyond just saying hi to people. You need to force your self to invite people to go out, and actively participate in actives.

She told me a specific story about how she became close friends with a boy named Brian. It all started in biology. They were in the same class and occasionally would ask each other if they got the notes, but nothing more than that. One day in a crowded, noisy lunchroom Elizabeth could not find a friend to sit with. She saw Brian sitting alone and decided to put her self out there. Elizabeth and her stomach full of butterflies walked over and asked if she could sit with him. Automatically he said yes and they hit it off, talking about how awful their biology class was. Soon after, his roommate joined them and they all became close friends.

As for high school friends, the same advice applies. I asked how much she communicates with her Randolph friends, this year and last year. Her response was pretty typical of those who are in college. Her and her close friends made a groupme ( a way to communicate via group message) this year. She said that they don’t communicate as much as they thought individually, but as a whole they still talk mostly every day. Elizabeth mentioned how her freshmen year everyone seemed to be surprised how little everyone seemed to talk to each other. With everyone’s different busy schedules it is hard to find time. But on a positive note she mentioned how great it is to reconnect with everyone during breaks. On the contrary some adjustments were hard. For example, many of her high school friends went to the University of Alabama, some even roomed together. Elizabeth said the first time she saw pictures on facebook she felt left out, but later realized she is making tons of new great relationships.

“College is what you make it” These words stuck out to me. You can choose to mope around, missing your mom, your friends, a home environment,  or you can go out and enjoy the freedom you might not have had in high school. Elizabeth enjoys not having to tell an adult every move she is going to make. She loves the new relationships she has made, and though she might miss home cooked meals she said she wouldn’t change a thing. 

Researching the Topic

 As I was researching ways to settle into college, I found more topics a long the lines of how to cope with your son or daughter leaving for college. I found this appropriate because as time comes closer to depart for the unknown world, there is one person who is always on my mind, my mom. I am going to be a mess without her, but on the other hand she is going to have lots of trouble as well. I am the last bird out of the nest; leaving my mom all alone.

I found an article on today.com with tips from Michele Borba helping parents deal with this hard transition. She mentions how hard it is going to be but she states in the article, “But this is why you parent — to let your child spread his wings.” This article was intriguing to me. My main interpretation of the article was about how a parent has raised their child for 18 years to teach them how to live on their own.

Instead of crying all day, when you drop your child off, Borba says to celebrate. You have worked this hard to bring your child to this stage, and you deserve to feel accomplished and happy. The article explains not to draw out the goodbye or else it will be harder for you and more embarrassing for the child. I agree with this statement, but of course crying is a natural emotion. It is normal that the parent will feel like part of them is missing.  But Bora states that overtime parent’s become accustomed to the change. Their child is not moving to Timbuktu. Weekend visits, holiday breaks or even just a simple skype call are friendly reminders that you will always have your little baby in your life.

Another topic the article focused on was keeping in touch. Personally, I know I will need to call my mom for lots of little tasks that I will have trouble with. How am I supposed to know what cheap laundry detergent is the best? The advice the article brings is to not be clingy. It is important to let your child know that you are available any time, but don’t always initiate the call.

The general overview I learned from researching this topic is that overtime, all of the kinks will be fixed and a new life will fall into place. As an adult leaves their child to settle in, they soon learn that they are not going to be alone.  Children are not going to act like their parents dropped off the face of the earth. Of course, they will enjoy the increase of freedom but every child will always need their mom and dad.

article- http://www.today.com/id/20387966/#.Uolz6hbNDap

College

Growing up and moving on are two hard concepts to grasp, especially for high school seniors. This is why I chose the topic of the transition from high school to college. This is a broad topic but it is something that is on most seniors’ minds. Having attended the cozy Randolph School for 13 years, I am anxious about my future into college.

I’ll never forget “graduating” from middle school and moving on to big bad high school. Having an older sister, I knew what to expect. Even though I knew I had her by my side I was still worried about high school and being at the bottom of the food chain. For example, me and two other lonely freshmen made the varsity cheerleading squad. It was tough sitting alone on the back of the bus. All the other girls had been friends for years now and did not want to have to deal with annoying freshmen. We would try to talk to the upper classmen but the conversation seemed to be very one sided. I would ask simple questions like “Oh is calculus hard?” and “kinda.” would be my only answer. Eventually we felt accepted and I was able to move on, but that transition was hard and something I will never forget.

If I thought that was hard, college is going to really challenge me. Not knowing anyone at such a big school is a lonely feeling. On the bright side, most everyone feels the same way, or that’s at least that’s what I am hoping.

            Because we can’t predict the future this is a hard topic. Most people don’t even know where they want to go, or if they will get into their dream school. Different questions run through my mind everyday. Who will I room with?  What will I have to let go of? Am I ready to live without my parents support or even whom will I still keep in contact with? Having been with the same students for almost my whole life makes these questions hard.

           

          Some of my friends will end up at the same college, but others might be thousands of miles away. From what I imagine, the first few years we will constantly text, see each other at Randolph football games and make sure to catch up. But as time goes on we will slowly grow up and lose contact with each other and that scares me. I do not want to just catch up with my high school friends’ life via social media. It’s hard to think you have such good friends in high school and they will be gone and a brand new set of friends will be made in college.

    Some days I’m ready to leave and want my fresh start that instant. But other days, I just want to cry. I love senior year and the memories I have created with my class, bonding at get –togethers and supporting each other during the arts or the athletics. I love the relationships I have built and looking back at all of my old Randolph memories. Moving on is going to be hard, and no one truly knows if they are ready.  Journaling will help get my thoughts out of the subconscious and hopefully not worry.