As I was researching ways to settle into college, I found
more topics a long the lines of how to cope with your son or daughter leaving
for college. I found this appropriate because as time comes closer to depart
for the unknown world, there is one person who is always on my mind, my mom. I
am going to be a mess without her, but on the other hand she is going to have
lots of trouble as well. I am the last bird out of the nest; leaving my mom all
alone.
I found an article on today.com
with tips from Michele Borba helping parents deal with this hard transition.
She mentions how hard it is going to be but she states in the article, “But
this is why you parent — to let your child spread his wings.” This article was intriguing
to me. My main interpretation of the article was about how a parent has raised
their child for 18 years to teach them how to live on their own.
Instead of crying all day, when you
drop your child off, Borba says to celebrate. You have worked this hard to
bring your child to this stage, and you deserve to feel accomplished and happy.
The article explains not to draw out the goodbye or else it will be harder for
you and more embarrassing for the child. I agree with this statement, but of
course crying is a natural emotion. It is normal that the parent will feel like
part of them is missing. But Bora
states that overtime parent’s become accustomed to the change. Their child is
not moving to Timbuktu. Weekend visits, holiday breaks or even just a simple
skype call are friendly reminders that you will always have your little baby in
your life.
Another topic the article focused
on was keeping in touch. Personally, I know I will need to call my mom for lots
of little tasks that I will have trouble with. How am I supposed to know what
cheap laundry detergent is the best? The advice the article brings is to not be
clingy. It is important to let your child know that you are available any time,
but don’t always initiate the call.
The general overview I learned from
researching this topic is that overtime, all of the kinks will be fixed and a
new life will fall into place. As an adult leaves their child to settle in,
they soon learn that they are not going to be alone. Children are not going to act like their parents dropped off
the face of the earth. Of course, they will enjoy the increase of freedom but
every child will always need their mom and dad.
article- http://www.today.com/id/20387966/#.Uolz6hbNDap
I always always worry about my mom and sometimes even my dad! Just the other day he said he wants to fly me home for Thanksgiving next year! I never realized he would miss me that much! The love our parents have for us is something I cannot understand yet. I love that it says to celebrate that day that your child goes to college! I would rather it be a party especially when I am the one leaving rather then a crying fest. What would you rather it be? I think your posts are awesome and I wonder where you are going next!
ReplyDeleteAw I really do love this blog cat! I worry about myself dealing with one of the biggest, if not the biggest, transition in life. But like you, I feel for my parents and sometimes try to not think about. Seeing my mom struggle to go into my brother's room when he left and my dad coming upstairs to his room and forgetting he's gone I can't even imagine what's going to happen back at the empty nest. It is true we should feel accomplished but with that comes sadness leaving things behind. I'm glad you're thinking about this in a positive light. Like that quote about being happy that you have something so hard to leave behind
ReplyDeleteI completely agree I dont know what in the world im going to do without my mom! Being without your parents is definitely a scary thought but it is also such a big moment as well! I think the research helped a ton with your blog because you got other perspectives about how to cope!
ReplyDeleteCat, I find this to be such an interesting way to look at going off to college. It has been our parents' jobs the past 18 years to prepare us for this moment. Yes, of course it is sad, but it is like us crossing the finishing line! We made it! I know my parents and I will still cry when I have to leave though. I agree with the other comments, this research helped you see from a totally different perspective of having a child leave rather you yourself leaving. Fabulous job!
ReplyDeleteCatherine this was so interesting to read!! I had never thought of going of to college in that way before! It was a nice positive perspective! I even think that this would be good for my mom to read, since she too will be an empty nester!
ReplyDeleteI love the research from a different perspective. Knowing how your mom will react to you leaving will affect you and your emotions for when you leave for college. If she is strong and just wants to celebrate that gives you more of a reason to not be scared and to know you have accomplished so much to be in the right place. So glad you're exploring all of these things!
ReplyDeleteMy parents, too, will be empty nesters once I'm gone. They keep joking (I think) with me that they are going to follow me wherever I go to college. Some days I hope they are kidding, and some days I actually want them to. It is very interesting to see how hard it will be for them to let us go, although it is true that they will always be there for us.
ReplyDeleteYou will come home and your parents will find it weird how much you have changed, but what if you come home and find that they have changed? What if your mom has had independent experiences that make her a different person from the one you left? This was one of the hardest and unpredictable parts of leaving home for me. My parents are not the same people now that they have lives without children at home. I guess I keep expecting that when I go to see them I am able to revisit my childhood, to escape into that fixed, unchanging relationship. I'm always shocked when home is not really the same; when I realize that home is forever in the past. It has forced me to have new, and frankly healthier relationships with my mom and dad as we see each other now as adults.
ReplyDelete